


Another Way Out

by MightyWolves23



Series: The Adventures of Katie Nelson [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cussing, F/M, Slightly psychotic character, spoilers for the whole series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 23:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16185803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyWolves23/pseuds/MightyWolves23
Summary: “No. No. No. No. Fucking Hell no!” Katie Nelson yelled. She glared at the license plate on the black 1967 Chevy impala. It could only be one car. The black paint seemed to glow in the sunlight.“No! You hear me?! I refuse to live in a world where there are fucking ghosts! That shit is fucking creepy and I'm not living here! I'm going back home!” She turned and stomped down the road.





	Another Way Out

**Author's Note:**

> First story in this series. It's kind of a test run. Kind of crackish and something my mind thought up of one night when I was exhausted and I changed my wallpaper on my phone to a picture of the impala. Boom! Insta story. I might keep this going. it depends on my muses and the comments of you, my readers. 
> 
> Songs mentioned in this story are:  
> Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a DeadMan  
> Wolf In Sheeps Clothing by Set it Off  
> Partners in Crime by Set it Off   
> We Don't Have to Dance by Andy Black
> 
> I don't own any of these songs or Supernatural. I only own Katie

“No. No. No. No. Fucking Hell no!” Katie Nelson yelled. She glared at the license plate on the black 1967 Chevy impala. It could only be one car. The black paint seemed to glow in the sunlight. 

“No! You hear me?! I refuse to live in a world where there are fucking ghosts! That shit is fucking creepy and I'm not living here! I'm going back home!” She turned and stomped down the road. 

She was thinking of someone to contact that can help her. Balthazar. Her mind fixed on. He sent Dean and Sam to her world. Or a variation of it at least. Misha was still alive in her world. He could send her there too. She just had to figure out what season this was. If it was season 7 and the whole purgatory thing she was shit outta luck. She would have to try to find Gabriel. She hissed when she remembered that if it was season 7 Gabriel would be being held by Asmodeus. 

She blinked when she saw herself back in the parking lot with the Winchesters impala. She growled. 

“No! I refuse!” She turned and walked back the way she came. 

She kept coming back to the impala and the hotel where the brothers were. 

“I swear, if this is you Chuck I'm gonna kick your ass.” She tripped and skinned her knee at those words. “Fucking Hell!” She swore. Her eyes watered. She hated pain. All she wanted was to go to the store for some candy and chips. She didn't want to be sucked into a crack and be here in this world where ghosts and monsters were everywhere and real.

She slumped next to the impala and cried. 

Soon two sets of booted feet were in her vision. 

“Uh . . . Miss? Are you okay? This is our car.” Sam's voice cemented in that she wasn't home dreaming. 

“No. I'm not fucking okay! I was just going to the store and then I get dropped in this universe where supernatural creatures are real. I have no family and I am going to kick Ch-” her voice caught in her throat. She tried telling them the future but a lump was welling up in her throat the more she talked. She couldn't breathe. “Fucking dick!” She yelled. “What good am I here then?” 

She looked up and saw guns and knives were being held at her. She rolled her eyes. “Have at it boys. Nothing better for me than to be cut up by you.” She stood up on her feet and glared. “Give me the holy water.” She demanded. 

Dean, keeping his gun trained on her, tossed a stream of holy water in her face. 

She blinked and spat the water out of her mouth. “Silver knife?” 

A blade was held out to cut her arm. 

She yanked back her arm. “Are you fucking insane?! Give me the knife!” She was quick and she plucked the blade from Sam's hands. She made a neat little cut on the pad of her thumb. She hissed in pain and showed the boys that no steam came from her cut before jamming her thumb in her mouth. “Ow. Ow. Ow.” She chanted. “Fuck. Shit. Fuck that hurts. Damn knives and guns.” 

She pulled her thumb out of her mouth and glared at the boys. “Well? What do you want?” 

“Miss-” Dean began. 

“Katie. My name is Katie.” She spoke clearly. 

“Katie. We don’t have time for this. We need to leave. So if you can please move?” Dean told her. 

“I can’t fucking leave you two.” Katie cried out. “I tried. I keep ending back where you two are. Watch.” Katie walked down the road in one direction and then a minute later she appeared and walked up to Sam and Dean. “See. I don’t even want to know what will happen if you drive off without me. Will I just be dragged along behind the car? Will I be forced to run along behind you? You have to take me with you.” Katie told them. 

Dean and Sam stared at her. 

“Listen Katie, you seem like a nice girl. But you aren’t a hunter.” Sam told her. “We’re in the middle of a crisis. You won’t be any help.” 

“Fuck that shit!” Katie exploded. “I know how to fire a gun. I can run a mile in ten minutes. I do it every day. I kick box every weekend. I am a hunter in everything but experience. So fuck you. Besides, if you leave without me I will keep showing up where you are like a creepy doll that will never leave. Whoever brought me here tied me to you two. Wherever you go I follow. I swear I’m going to kick His ass too.” 

Katie’s knees gave out and she slammed to the pavement. She grunted at the pain. 

“You know who brought you here?” Dean asked. “Maybe we can find him and have you sent back.” 

“Thank you. Just what I want. Unfortunately he won’t see it that way. He brought be here, he won’t send me back until I’m done here. I can however find others to take me back. He’s not the only one who knows how.” Katie stood painfully to her feet. 

“Why did you fall? You have weak knees or something?” Dean jokes. 

Katie stared at him. “No idiot. He did it. I talk bad about him, he injures me. He’s pretty frickin powerful. One of the most powerful beings in creation I believe.” 

“Wait. You think God brought you here?” Sam was excited. Maybe they are catching a break. 

“Don’t think. I know.” Katie grumbled. 

“Where is he?” Sam demanded. 

Katie opened her mouth but that lump was back. She stopped trying to talk and gasped in huge breaths of air. “Dick won’t let me tell you. I know too much of the future.” 

“You know our future? What like a seer or something?” Dean stared intently at her. 

“No Rocky. I mean where I come from, your guys lives are a tv show. I know over thirteen years of your lives. Every little bit. I have perfect recall. In fact, the further away it is the better my memory.” Katie boasted. “Like the Supernatural books but better. Way more fans and much better fanfiction.” 

Sam and Dean groan. 

“Really?” Dean complains. “First a book series, now a tv show? Come on.” 

“Better believe it bucko.” Katie looks around her. “Where the fuck are we? What did you just deal with this hunt?” 

“Uh a witch who plays poker for your life?” Sam offered. 

Katie breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks for that at least.” 

“What?” Sam asked. “This is good news? The apocalypse? Lucifer walking free?” 

Katie doubled over laughing. “Oh boys, this is a piece of cake compared to your future. Years down the road, you’re gonna be wishing for something this easy.” 

Dean and Sam stared at her in horror. 

“Easy?!” The both yelled. 

“You think the freaking apocalypse is easy?” Dean demanded. 

“Oh yeah.” Katie grinned. “Let’s get going, shall we?” Katie moved towards the car. “I’m the smallest I guess I get the backseat.” She slid in and sighed. This is actually good. She started sorting through what she remembered. 

A few miles down the road she spotted a sign for WalMart. “Hey, you mind stopping? I have no clothes and I need a few supplies. Don’t worry. I have money. Cash at least. Don’t know if he brought over my bank account.” 

They pulled over and Katie quickly bought some t-shirts, jeans and a notebook. Less than ten minutes later, she slid into the back of the impala. “I’m good. Let’s go.” 

The boys stared at her. 

“We thought you’d take longer.” Sam told her. 

Katie snorted. “Ha! I’m not like most girls. I hate shopping. I get in buy what I need and leave. No makeup for me. No fancy clothes. What you see is what you get? Makeup gives me pimples anyway. All pore clogging horrid stuff.” Katie shivered. “Anyway. I gotta write down some stuff. Talk to you later.” 

Katie plugged her headphones into her phone and blasted Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman. She began writing down all she knew but she wrote it in code. Backwards and in the language of the dwarves from Lord of the Rings. She wrote it in their alphabet with a few elvish letters tossed throughout. She filled half of the notebook up by the time they pulled into a spot at a motel. 

“We have a hunt. Stay in the room.” Dean turned around in the seat and saw her with headphones on and scribbling in a notebook. 

He snatched the notebook and stared at it. Sam leaned over his shoulder. 

“What language is this?” Sam asked. 

Katie grinned. “My language. Like it? I'm not stupid enough to write down everything I know in English or any language of this world. Angels man. They know all languages. I don't want Cassie getting his hands on this. The only one who could possibly decipher this is way in your future.” Katie snatched her book back. “So. What are we hunting?” 

“We aren't hunting anything. You are staying in the hotel room.” Dean told her. 

Katie stared at him like he was stupid. “Wow Rocky I knew you were like this but to not remember that I'm fucking tied to you two. You leave me in that hotel room I just get brought to where you are.” 

“Why are you calling Dean Rocky?” Sam asked. 

“Spoilers Bullwinkle. Spoilers.” Katie grinned impishly her freckles standing out more. “So what's the story?” 

“A woman says the incredible hulk killed her husband.” Sam told her. 

Katie froze. She blew out a breath. “Throw me right into the fucking fire why dontcha!?” She yelled at the ceiling. 

“You already know.” Dean said flatly. “This is part of that TV show?” 

“Season five episode eight.” Katie returned with a smirk. 

“Great. Come on Claws.” Dean stepped out of the car. 

“Claws?” Katie raised an eyebrow. 

“Katie Kat? Claws?” Dean tried. 

“Call me Katie Kat again and I will scratch your fucking eyes out.” Katie said evenly. 

They piled into the motel. Katie wrinkled her nose at stains everywhere. The boys changed into their suits and Katie made herself scarce and sat outside in the clean, not-smelling-like-cigarette-smoke air. 

Katie grabbed her notebook and started drawing some of the harmless sigils she remembered. 

“What’s that?” Sam asked as she was shading in the Mark of Cain on Dean’s arm. 

Katie snapped her book closed. “Geez Bullwinkle. Don’t you know anything about privacy? You are about as bad as Cas with Dean.” 

“Please tell me that they get together?” Sam pleaded. 

Katie shook her head sadly. “Nope. Over ten years since they met and they are still making googly eyes and not doing anything about it. They were close when I left though. Actually, in my world the writers call it eyefucking.” 

Sam shuddered. “Please don’t.” 

Katie smirked. She went back to shading The Mark. Katie laughed suddenly as she thought of something. 

“Hey, Sammich?” Katie looked over at Sam. 

“It’s Sam.” He sighed. 

“Uh huh. What would happen if you drew a devil’s trap on a piece of paper and had a demon touch it? Would their whole body be stuck or would it just be their finger stuck to the paper?” Katie asked him. 

“I think it would just be their finger stuck to the paper. Why?” Sam looked weirdly at Katie. 

Katie cackled. “Just planning a few pranks.” 

Sam rolled his eyes as Dean came out of the room. 

“Ready?” Dean moved to the impala. 

Sam and Katie climbed in. 

Katie waited in the car while Sam and Dean did their FBI thing. They came out twenty minutes later talking about the case. 

“I’m going to check out the house. You stay with Katie.” Sam told Dean. 

Dean looked in the back at the snoozing woman. “Fine. Be quick.” 

Dean drove back to the hotel. Katie and he waited in the hotel for another thirty minutes until Sam came back. Dean was on the computer and Katie was sitting on the couch, listening to her music. 

“What are you listening to?” Dean looked over at the brunette.

“Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by Set it Off.” Katie replied absently. She was writing again in the notebook. 

Dean looked over her shoulder. “Is that Enochian?” 

“Yep.” Katie wrote more lettering before ripping the page out of the notebook. She folded it carefully and tucked it into her jacket. “You need something?” Katie lifted her head and plucked an earbud from her ears. 

“Yeah. We don’t know anything about you. Why should we help you? Why can’t you tell us how to end this? Obviously we stop it because there are more seasons on this show.” Dean questioned, he leaned back against the table and folded his arms. 

Katie took her other earbud out and paused her music. “Because I am tied to you two. Because He-who-can’t-be-named puts a lump in my throat so big I can’t breathe if I tell you too much. And this episode is one of the most important ones in this story arc. Does that answer your questions?” 

Katie looked up at Dean. “Look, I don’t want to be here either. I know you don’t like me and frankly, I don’t give a shit. I need to be here and finish whatever I’m supposed to do. Which I don’t know what it is. Maybe after this whole apocalypse thing I will be done and out of your lives.” 

Dean just stared at Katie a bit longer before going back to his research. 

“Hey.” Sam walked in the door a few hours later. 

“Find anything?” Dean leans back in his chair. 

“Well, uh, I saw the house.” Sam had his hands in his pockets.

“Oh my word!” Katie groaned. “Sam found a huge hulk shaped hole in the door and candy wrappers and Dean found that whoever died was an angry drunk and beat his wife.” 

Dean and Sam stared at her. 

“You’re hunting the freaking Trickster.” Katie snapped. 

Dean and Sam shared looks before looking back at Katie. “How do you know that?” 

Katie huffed. “Season five episode eight. You guys run into the Trickster. Back in season three, which would be the year of Dean’s deal by the way, you guys ran into him again and he killed Dean over one-” 

Sam lept over to her and placed a hand on her mouth. “Okay. That’s enough. We’re hunting the trickster. Good. We will get him this time.” Sam removed his hand with a yelp when Katie licked his palm. 

“Ew.” Katie ran to the bathroom and spat in the sink. She took a gulp of water from the faucet and swished it around. She spat it back out in the sink. “Gross. Never know where those hands have been.” 

Dean and Sam rolled their eyes. 

“How do we catch him?” Dean asked Sam. 

“He never takes one victim. He'll show.” Sam assured. 

Over the course of the next hour, Katie wasted time by writing another letter in Enochian and wearing down her cell phone battery. Dean was sharpening a stake and Sam was listening to a police scanner. 

Sam straightened at one fishy looking report. 

“Dean.” He called. 

Katie turned off her device. Tucked it and both letters into her jacket and waited by the door. 

Dean and Sam quickly got ready and the three went into the impala. 

They pulled up outside a quiet warehouse. 

“No cops.” Sam commented. “There was a huge fuss on the police scanner. What does that look like to you?” 

“A trap.” Dean opened the trunk of the impala and armed both him and Sam with stakes and flashlights. “Stay behind us and don't get in our way.” He told Katie. 

Katie grinned mockingly. “Sure thing Deano.” 

Dean and Sam entered the warehouse ahead of her. Katie stepped inside and found herself in a room filled with screens and panels full of buttons. 

A guy with his back to her sat in front of the controls. 

“Hi.” Katie chirped. 

The man jumped. He spun around and spotted her. He backed off some at the sight of her. “You've recently been with God.” He stated. 

“Not really.” Katie snorted. “I'm not from this universe. I was just going shopping when the dick had picked me up and dropped me here. Now, I am tied to the freaking Winchesters and can't leave their presence.” 

Gabriel started at that. “How far in the future do you know?” 

“Over ten years.” Katie commented. “Here. I have this for you.” Katie pulled out her letters and chose which one to hand him. “I know who you really are and who you are moonlighting as. I swear I won't tell anyone and also try not to piss off the actual Loki by letting Odin and Baldur die. He will sell you out to a major demon who will torture you in every way for your grace. You won't escape for 8 years? Yeah. You'll be his prisoner for 8 years. Winchesters won't help you until then because you stupidly fake your death. They think you're dead. And wow. Your father must really want you to not do that. Never have I ever been able to tell someone this much of the future.” Katie smirked at the shocked angel. 

“Dammit!” Katie swore suddenly. “I know what my purpose here is!” Katie tipped her head to the ceiling. “Fuck you! It was an offhand comment. I didn't want to be dragged here where ghosts and creepy shit like that is real!” 

Gabriel gave a strangled sound. “Did you really just tell God to-?” 

“Fuck off? Yeah. He deserves it. Brought me here without my permission. Oh, sorry. You’re an angel. Didn’t mean to offend you. I’ll try to curb my mouth.” Katie smiled sheepishly. “So . . . That is a detailed letter written in Enochian but the language is English about your personal future. Sorry, no spoilers for anything else. Do with it what you wish but I am pretty sure I am meant to keep you from being taken prisoner by Asmodeus.” 

“Asmodeus? I can take him.” Gabriel scoffed. 

“Yeah. That’s what future you thought as well. I said he tortured you in every way. Mental, emotional and physical. When the Winchesters catch up to you, your mouth was sewn shut, you were locked in a room with no windows and just a door with a slider thingy so he could take your grace.” Katie looked at him sadly. 

“In ten or eleven years there is a nephilim born from an archangel. He causes a rift to occur in this world. With what Sam and Dean do to stop this apocalypse, Michael dies shortly after in a fit of rage from Lucifer. Raphael is also dead so that leaves you and Lucifer as the only archangels left. 

“The rift that the nephilim causes leads to a world where Sam and Dean were never born. That world’s Michael won that celebrity deathmatch. Think for a second. A world where Michael won, Lucifer dead. That world must be practically destroyed. Then they come across our world. Nothing is destroyed like that world. What do you think people will do?” Katie finished. “I think that’s about all I can tell you. Don’t read that until you are finished here.” Katie nodded at the letter. 

Gabriel was shocked at all he was told. “How do they stop all that? Who’s kid is it? How do my brothers die?” 

Katie smiled and flopped down on the couch in the room. “Don’t know on the first question. Last I saw of the show Dean said yes to alternate world Michael to save Sam and the Nephilim. Michael took over and flew off, the kid is Lucifer's, and I can’t tell you how Raphael dies, too many spoilers and Michael is more of a mercy kill. He was driven insane and Lucifer killed him.” 

“Hold that thought.” Gabriel flickered out like static. 

Katie watched her favorite scene from the screen in the room. 

“Helloooooo! Trickster! Come on! I heard you two yahoos were in town. How could I resist?”

Katie watched as the archangel turned trickster talked to the boys. 

“Survive what?” Dean asked. 

“The game.” Gabriel spoke like it was obvious. 

Dean and Gabriel go back and forth with their Q&A. 

“What game?” 

“You’re in it.” 

“How do we play?”

“You’re playing it.” 

“What are the rules?” 

Katie leaned back on the chair when Gabriel flicks back into the room. 

“What’s your purpose here?” Gabriel titled his head at her as he studied her. 

“Save as many angels as I can.” Katie swung her legs from her perch on the chair. “Another future thing. When the nephilim is born there are only nine angels in existence. Everyone is dead. Two archangels and six seraphs are left.” 

Gabriel’s jaw dropped. “How do they all die?” 

“Several of them in this apocalypse. Some more in the next big drama. A lot die when Metatron comes out of hiding and kicks all the angels from heaven. Like forcibly makes them fall. Kicks them out of heaven and they either die because they can’t find a vessel or another angel kills them in the little gang war they get into on earth.” Katie looked sadly at him. “You weren’t able to help because you were trapped by Asmodeus right then.” 

“How do I help you?” Gabriel spoke firmly. “I can’t just sit back while my siblings are slaughtered.” 

“Read the letter when you are done playing and I will see if I can swing by. I am tied to the Winchesters for the moment. Yeah. It sucks. Too much flanel and testosterone. They hate me and don’t trust me but we are stuck together for now.” Katie shrugged. “So, what should we do next?” 

Katie hops down from the chair and leans over the panel. “Oooh. Do the Japanese Game Show. Only Bobby can speak Japanese. Those boys will have no clue what to say. Priceless.” Katie cackled. 

Katie watched for a while. She was actually having fun. Until Castiel showed up. 

The second Castiel entered the pocket dimension it flickered and it changed to a kitchen filled with Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, Katie, Balthazar, Castiel, Sam and Dean. 

“What’s going on?” Dean demanded. “Is this another one of your tricks?” Sam and Dean glared at Gabriel. 

Katie hopped up on the counter and whistled loudly to catch everyone’s attention. “Listen up, your dear old emphasis on old, dad brought me here to save you all a bunch of drama and pain and blah blah blah in the future.” 

“Who are you? Where are you from?” Michael demanded, cooly. 

“I’m Katie Nelson. This world is a tv show. I know about eleven years of your future.” Katie introduced. “So sit down and shut up!.”

“Did you just tell me to shut up?!” Michael demanded. 

“Put a sock in it Mikey. I wanna listen.” Lucifer yawned bored. 

“I should kill you here and now.” Michael’s sword dropped in his hand. It disappeared as soon as it touched his palm. “What? Father?” 

There was no answer. 

Michael and Lucifer glared at each other. There was silence between everyone in the room. 

“We don't have to talk. We don't have to dance. We don't have to smile. We don't have to make friends. It's so nice to meet you. Let's never meet again. We don't have to talk. We don't have to dance. We don't have to dance.” Katie sang softly. 

Everyone looked at her weird. 

“What?” She snapped. “You all were looking at each other with death glares. I had to do something. Fucking stupid blockheads.” 

Lucifer laughed. “I like this girl.” 

“Yeah? Well you're welcome to her. Freaking weird.” Dean grumbled. 

Katie gasped. “Aw! I love you too Rocky!” 

“Rocky?” Gabriel arched an eyebrow. 

“Yeah shortstack. Ever heard of that old TV show Bullwinkle and Rocky?” Katie drawled. “Bullwinkle is a moose and Rocky is a squirrel.” 

Dean and Sam glared at her. 

“If it ain't broke, don't fix it.” Katie grinned. “Gotta love Crowley.” Katie sighed. “I think I like the demons better than the angels. Meg is funny. She flusters and flirts with Cas. Crowley is a snarky bastard but you just gotta love him.” 

“Tell me, how does your world see us?” Lucifer asked Katie. 

Katie bit her lip. “Let’s see if the deadbeat will let me. So . . . Ships. Destiel is a big one. Almost the main ship for the show. Everyone ships Destiel. Never met a fan who didn’t.” 

“Destiel?” Dean looked panicked. 

“Oh yeah. Dean and Castiel. Destiel. Lots of UST and angst there. The fans are so desperate for it to actually happen. Ten fucking years of UST and soulful stares and longing looks. Blech! Can’t stand it. Oh, one person made a song about it. It’s a parody of the song Hallelujah by David something. I don’t know.” Katie swung her legs back and forth from the counter she was sitting on. 

“Some people ship Sam and Gabriel. That’s a big ship in the fandom. A smaller amount ship Lucifer and Sam. Some even ship Sam with Balthazar.” Katie snorted. “I can’t see it. Too much snark and sass.

“Michael and Adam. That’s a big one. And of course the Wincest ship. Yep. Got it over there too. Uh . . .” Katie wracked her brain for anymore info. “Chuck and Becky, Charlie and Jo, lots of Dean and an original character. Some Sam and original characters. That’s all the big ones I can think of.” 

Katie took one looks at the faces around her and busted into laughter. “Don’t worry. You guys are a world away from the rabid fans.” 

“Why did you call us here?” Dean demanded, face flaming from her Destiel revelation. 

“Oooh! Time for the big reveal and then I can go home to my bed.” Katie clapped her hands and stood up. “Okay. All angels I saved are first. We’ll start with Gabriel. Gabriel was supposed to fake his death at Elysian Fields Hotel. He would then run off to Europe and play around with pornstarts for two years. So . . . right when Sam gets his soul back. 

“Anyway, the real Loki sells him out to Asmodeus for having Odin and Baldur killed. Gabriel will then be held prisoner being tortured mentally, physically, and emotionally for his grace. He won’t escape for eight years.” Katie pointed at Dean and Sam. “Those two manage to trick Lucifer into his cage, dragging Michael down with Luce.” 

“How do we do that?” Dean demanded. 

Katie shot him an unimpressed look. “Slow your roll Rocky. I’m getting there.” Katie turned her whole body away and faced the angels. Her back was now to Dean and Sam. “Sam says yes, manages to take back control of his body and drags Luce and Mikey down into the cage. Castiel saves Sam but he forgets his soul. Castiel pulls him straight away after he leaves Dean.” Katie ignores the gaping mouths and the angry rumbles from the brothers. “One year later Soulless Sam pulls Dean back into hunting and the supernatural and Cassie is working with Crowley to open Purgatory. Raphael decided to restart the Apocalypse and Castiel stood against him causing Civil War in Heaven.”

“Dad above.” Gabriel runs a hand down his face. “Seriously?” 

“Major crapfest ahead.” Katie knocks her heels together as she swung her legs. “Long story short, Eve gets involved because Crowley is torturing her children. Dean gets Sam’s soul back by making a deal with Death. Capital D Death. The Horseman. Death puts up a wall because Sam spent over two hundred years Hell time being tortured by two angry archangels. Castiel breaks the wall causing Bullwinkle to hallucinate. Guess who he hallucinates? Luce you’re up.” 

Katie smiles fondly. “Luce irritates Sam to the looney bin. I kid you not, some of my favorite scenes from the show are Sam hallucifering. That’s what the fans call it. Oh! My favorite is when Dean is being held hostage by a demon and Sam is in a library. Oooo! Let’s see if I can remember.” 

Katie cleared her throat and adopted a pouty look. “Come on Sam! Pay attention to me! I’m bored.” Katie changed her face to a smug one. “You let me in. I’ve got my finger wiggling around in your brainpan.” Katie got a huge grin on her face. “Come on Sam, say it with me. GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!!” Katie laughed. 

“You like that stuff? You are one psycho bitch.” Dean glowered at her. 

Katie smirked. “Well, Deano you sure do know how to make a girl blush.” Katie batted her eyes at Dean. “Now, where was I?” Katie turned back to the room. “Oh yeah. What? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Lucifer was grinning at her. Gabriel, Michael, Balthazar and Castiel had their mouths open and was staring at her. 

“I get dibs on this human. I like her.” Lucifer smiled at Katie. “May I entreat you to stay in this world? We could cause havoc together.” 

Katie looked the devil over. “I’ll think about it. I like you too Luce. Anyway, Castiel kills Balthazar when he works with the Winchesters and plays double agent. Raphael gets exploded by Castiel hopped up on souls and leviathan. Yup. The leviathan come out to play. Hint for you boys,” Katie turns to the Winchesters. “Invest in Borax. Stuff sting those motherfuckers like salt to a demon.” 

Katie rattled off the tablets and the stuff with Metatron really quickly with minimal interruptions. God coming back and Amara brought more outbursts. 

“Now here’s where it gets interesting. Luce fathers a nephilim. He takes over the president of the united states and the mother is the president’s fling on the side.” Katie laughs at the shocked looks all around. “Oh I am having too much fun.” She mutters. “When the kid is born he makes a rift between worlds. He opens the world where Sam and Dean were never born. The Apocalypse happens and Michael won. 

“That world Michael is a psycho and wants this world because everyone over there is already dead. In that world there are only Michael and Raphael as the archangels. Gabriel, I’m sorry but you and Luce are killed by Michael. 

“This world’s Gabriel makes a reappearance as the British Men of Letters has a guy who betrays them but in his conscience he can’t leave you there. So he helps you escape and Sam helps you get back on your feet. Oh, you also tick that witch thing off your bucket list.” Katie thought for a moment. 

“What witch thing?” Luce asked the human. 

“He wants to sleep with a five hundred year old witch.” Katie waved absentmindedly. “Not important. As best as I can remember they end the last season available with Dean killing Luce, Gabriel goes out standing up to alternate Michael. That leaves only this world Michael as the only archangel left. 

“Oh, did I mention by this point there are only eight seraphs left. So with, Luce and Gabriel out of commision and Michael in the cage, Heaven is about to be wiped out and all the souls there is going to be put in Hell. And that’s it. That’s all I know.” Katie smirked at the glazed eyes and shocked looks. 

Katie hopped down from the counter and looked at the ceiling. “I did it! I told them everything! Now take me home asshole!” Katie’s knees immediately gave out and she would have hit the floor if she wasn’t caught by a grinning Lucifer. 

“I love you human. Stay with me?” He pleaded. He gave her big eyes and a pout to his lips. 

Katie sighed from her place in the devil’s arms. “Okay. Since the dick isn’t going to take me home. I guess I can stay with you for a while. Just clip the string holding me to Bullwinkle and Rocky.” 

Lucifer snapped his fingers. “Done.” He offered his hand. “Shall we?”

Katie grinned and took his hand. “Let’s go Luce. You'll never take us alive. We swore that death will do us apart. They'll call our crimes a work of art. You'll never take us alive. We'll live like spoiled royalty. Lovers and partners. Partners in Crime.” Katie sang out swinging their hands together as they moved down the dark hall. 

Everyone in the room blinked. 

“Did she just-” Dean asked nobody. 

“Yep.” Gabriel answered still in shock. 

“So they will-” Dean stammered. 

“Most likely.” Gabriel looked around at everyone. 

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled.


End file.
